Sunday, 26 November 2017

Helpful Find : Review of Max Lucado's Anxious for Nothing

If you are like me at all then you are more than grateful when someone shares something that has provided them with any type of relief from the agony of depression and anxiety. For that reason I am sharing my thoughts on Max Lucado's latest book Anxious for Nothing : Finding Calm in a Chaotic World.

When you first read the title you are almost insulted by the implication that we are anxious over nothing. Of course we have a reasons why we are anxious. Fortunately it is all in the way you read it. Go ahead, take down that defensive barrier and read it again. Anxious for Nothing. Think of it as a battle cry against your anxiety.....I will become "Anxious for Nothing". Nothing will cause me to tremble in fear of the 1000's of what ifs that go around in my mind every hour of every day of my life. Whooo hooo.... that would be amazing. 

I wish it would be as simple as reading a book and it would all become a bad memory. However like any other tool in our arsenal it is something that takes time but does offer great insight.
The book is really a study of Philippians 4:4-8.

I sat down on a quiet Sunday afternoon 2 weeks ago and read the book straight through, cover to cover in one sitting. It was very uplifting and thought provoking and I enjoyed it immensely. It planted a few seeds that I can expand upon in my journaling and prayer log. Most of all it provided me with a sense of renewal in my faith. It lifted the self inflicted burden I had placed upon myself about being a Christian Woman that feared what the future held. How did I profess to believe in an all powerful creator but yet not trust that he had a plan for my life? I don't know. I think that I was trying to have it all. I wanted to try to control everything in my life and then at the end of my days say here you are Lord this is what I did with the life you gave me. Instead I need to step back and say Lord what is it the you want to do in my life. Trust that he is in control. He has the plan. 

I purchased the study guide and DVD that go with the book and I am really looking forward to spending some time working through it. I wish I had a group to work with on this, but alas that is the plight of the socially akward, anxiety filled, individuals. Right?

I highly recommend this book guys. It is not going to fix everything for you but it may well give you a bit of peace. Who couldn't use a bit of that? Feel free to leave any links to reviews you have of things that are helping you in your journey. My thoughts and prayers are with you always.


Monday, 11 September 2017

Amazing Grace

I am just sitting here trying to figure out how long it has been since I posted here. Months, maybe years?  I can go back and check on the date of my last post, but the fact that I can'talk remember at all has me vexed. This was to be the space where I documented my journey. That sole place where I would tell the world to go to hell and feel free to speak the truth. The truth as I see it I suppose, but my undiluted opinions and my struggles and triumphs. How did I let my voice slip silently away? Why did I allow my last vestige of honest discourse for life to fall into stillness, the quiet enveloping of my worst fears taking the very thoughts from my mind.

.....or why did I.

Part of the answer lies in the duplicity of our societal biases about mental disorders. Everyone likes the idea of a world where people are accepted as a whole, rather than the sum of our flaws. A person with mental health issues is a great thing to have when you are trying to improve your public image to a kinder, gentler less corporate, money hungry entity. At that moment everyone is all "Let's talk". In the harsh reality of the real world no one wants to know. It will be held against you. You will be judged for the very thing that you work hardest to overcome. In time you feel unable to raise your voice to bring awareness to our plight. In time you will have barely enough energy to rise from your bed in the morning.

I mistakenly viewed the long road to recovery as a long winding country road with hills and valleys, shadowy patches and passages where you can feel the warm sun on your face. I realise now it is a treadmill. You are not able to stand still for fear of being thrown but as you continue to run your body begins to tire and you have to recognize that you are going no where. 

I am tired, so very tired of this run. My mind is no longer a friend to me. It teases me in my dreams with visions of people I miss only to tear them away again when I wake. Every bit of strength I have left I try to give to my family. Hoping that somehow it will be enough, knowing full well my mind will use my shortcomings to torture me further. When I have barely the strength to face a new day I hold on knowing that I can still pray. No judgement from society can ever silence my prayers.  "and faith has brought me safe thus far, and faith will lead me home".